When you decide to move overseas, your friends and family are naturally going to worry about you. First, they’re going to wonder if you’ve gone crazy—let’s face it, the idea of leaving the US behind is hard to wrap your head around after being told that the US is the greatest country in the world all your life. The US is a great country; it’s just not the ONLY great country. There’s a whole world of countries with different things to offer: history, food, culture, climate, things to do, places to go. For most people, it’s enough to just visit a country. Others, like me, want to experience what it is like to live in a different culture.
The first question people asked me when I said I was moving to Portugal was, “Do you know anyone there?” That would be a no. I didn’t know anyone when I moved here. I never knew more than one or two people in any place that I moved. I did know that I would meet people and build a network of friends. This might be the scariest part of becoming an expat for most people—the idea that you don’t have a social network to fall back on. But if you have friends now, I can pretty much guaranty that you have the ability to make new friends.
The second question that popped out of people’s mouths was, “What if you get sick?” For some reason, people think the US healthcare system is good. Among the top 11 wealthiest countries, the US ranks dead last. On a world-wide basis, the US ranked 18th (Denmark is #1; some studies name Switzerland as #1). If you want to see some grim breakdowns on US health stats, The Commonwealth Fund has mortality rates, healthcare outcomes, infant mortality rates, etc.
Even with a first-rate healthcare system, if you can’t afford to access it (and this means waiting to see “if it gets worse” before going to the doctor or ER), it doesn’t matter how good it is. My healthcare premium for a Blue Cross silver plan in the States ran about $1,000 per month with a $3,500 deductible and 20% copay. An equivalent plan in Portugal is about $150 a month (including a dental plan), no deductible and an average of about a $20 copay. Even if you have Medicare, the Medicare Part B premium payment is $165 a month (Part A is free). Then you need a supplemental plan that can run anywhere from free to hundreds of dollars per month.
If I get sick, I have access to first world health care through private providers. One of the best cardiac hospitals in Europe is a 30 minute ride away. So, just as in the States, if I get sick, I’ll go to the doctor.
“Is it safe?” This is a relevant question, particularly for an older woman living solo. Iceland is ranked as the safest country in the world on the Global Peace Index. Portugal is #6. The US is ranked at 129th out of 163 countries (Afghanistan is last). The US is behind countries like Zimbabwe (127), Haiti (115) and the Dominican Republic (81).
Lesser considerations were the language barrier (most Portuguese people under the age of 40 or so speak some English and many of them are extremely fluent), and cultural differences. Most people move to a new country to learn and live in the culture—that’s the whole point!
The sweetest objection that I heard from friends was an expression of fear: “What if I never see you again?” That’s a hard one. Before I left, I said good-bye to many friends. COVID was raging and we were just beginning to get vaccines so the good-byes very much held the possibility that we would not see each other again… in person. But with today’s technology, I am able to have Zoom and WhatsApp video calls with friends whenever we want. I have friends spread across the US, so the truth is, there were many people who I did not see in person for years on end. We’re still friends. We still talk and email on a regular basis. Friends are the people you make time for and who make time for you. Distance does not matter between friends.
The easiest question to answer was “What if you don’t like it?” Not liking it could involve anything from not liking the weather (winters without central heat do get a bit chilly for me) to not being able to adjust to the culture to becoming homesick or feeling isolated. All of these things do happen. There are many people who end up moving back to the States or moving to another country. That’s not a failure—they tried it; it wasn’t for them. And sometimes things happen that call people back even if the don’t want to go back: someone gets sick and needs help or there’s a job transfer or the pension fund gets bankrupted. The obvious answer to that question is “If I don’t like it, I can always go back to the States.” Will it cost some money? Sure. But it can be done. You’re not stuck and very little is forever.
Friends and family worry about you. Usually (not always) they have your best interests at heart. What can sound like objections or criticisms about your decision is sometimes just normal worries about you and your well-being. And really, isn’t that a wonderful tribute as to how much they care about you?
